Saturday, 26 February 2011
Four
Isn't that sad that we no longer wait to talk in person, the sleepless nights until you can see them again. Or the eight hour phone calls with the person you think is 'the one'. There gone! Instead today we wait for the text; the electronic device that is chalked full of emoticons try to capture a human spirit. How sad is that? The chase the wait the excitement of waiting to talk to someone face to face. The space that strengthens the relationship is missing and instead we are left with a feeling of confusion. We are left confused if ':P' means yay, or gross, or maybe its simply something to fill the gap that is left in our conversations.
But anyways...
Again I have another post about a guy, but this is different this isn't a post about the past or how my life ended up where it is today. Nope this is all about how I ended up here, right now not in general but at this very moment. After a some what exciting day waiting for a text that I don't think is ever going to come. To be truthful I know it won't and I guess it should comfort me to know he fell asleep waiting for a text from me, but it doesn't. He didn't answer, and hasn't yet, damn.
So let me tell you a little bit about Jason, just so you know. So I can't say that I know him well, not that I don't want to be simply because I just met him. Now I'm not totally irrational I know there's no such thing as love at first sight simply in-faction. But I also know I've dated a lot of guys and Jason and this is not in-faction. Now I'm not saying I love him, I don't. But I am saying him and I get along wonderfully. He and I both have an abstract sense of humor, he and I are both tall, and both seem to have a decent set of values. Jason is a football player, a runner, shy, funny, and nice and although he's not what I usually go for something just says that he's okay.
I used to have a very specific type of guy, I went for older, clear face, hot, taller than me, and could drive. In a way I guess I still do. Now its not like that's all I look for in a guy, but it was defiantly one of the first things that I did. But recently I have found that I'm the older one and I'm left wondering if this is something that I should still be looking for. I mean guys have always liked me, and I'm not trying to brag, because bragging is gross, but I have always had guys hitting on me, asking me out, and looking to date me. But this year the only guy I've been with was David... and I can't say as I like it. But back to Jason, he's a brunette, about my height but then again he is still growing and the only time I can grow is when I'm put on heals. He doesn't have a clear face but for some reason that doesn't seem to be bothering me, which is new. He doesn't have braces or any piercings. In all truth he isn't really that hot, just cute. But when ever I talk to him I'm left feeling I've had a good conversation. Now the question is does he like me, fuck.
But anyways...
Again I have another post about a guy, but this is different this isn't a post about the past or how my life ended up where it is today. Nope this is all about how I ended up here, right now not in general but at this very moment. After a some what exciting day waiting for a text that I don't think is ever going to come. To be truthful I know it won't and I guess it should comfort me to know he fell asleep waiting for a text from me, but it doesn't. He didn't answer, and hasn't yet, damn.
So let me tell you a little bit about Jason, just so you know. So I can't say that I know him well, not that I don't want to be simply because I just met him. Now I'm not totally irrational I know there's no such thing as love at first sight simply in-faction. But I also know I've dated a lot of guys and Jason and this is not in-faction. Now I'm not saying I love him, I don't. But I am saying him and I get along wonderfully. He and I both have an abstract sense of humor, he and I are both tall, and both seem to have a decent set of values. Jason is a football player, a runner, shy, funny, and nice and although he's not what I usually go for something just says that he's okay.
I used to have a very specific type of guy, I went for older, clear face, hot, taller than me, and could drive. In a way I guess I still do. Now its not like that's all I look for in a guy, but it was defiantly one of the first things that I did. But recently I have found that I'm the older one and I'm left wondering if this is something that I should still be looking for. I mean guys have always liked me, and I'm not trying to brag, because bragging is gross, but I have always had guys hitting on me, asking me out, and looking to date me. But this year the only guy I've been with was David... and I can't say as I like it. But back to Jason, he's a brunette, about my height but then again he is still growing and the only time I can grow is when I'm put on heals. He doesn't have a clear face but for some reason that doesn't seem to be bothering me, which is new. He doesn't have braces or any piercings. In all truth he isn't really that hot, just cute. But when ever I talk to him I'm left feeling I've had a good conversation. Now the question is does he like me, fuck.
Friday, 25 February 2011
Three
So today we had a snowstorm and sure it should have been a snow day, but it wasn't so off I went. I woke up at 6:30 get ready got on the bus and off I went. I have been texting this guy Jason- (his real names not Jason but for this that's what I'll call him)- and we had been 'talking' all last night and one of the first things that I did this morning was text him. He answered quickly which always makes me happy. Our conversation went something like this... ME- Fuck you were right. Its not a snow day... :( Him: I never said it wasn't going to be :o but I know Me- Arg, its so upsetting. Are you coming in today? Him- Yes I am Me- good Him- the are 5 people in my class Me was have 17 Him- Niceeee Me- No because we actually doing shit Him- Were not :D Yay!
Then it goes on to I want to switch to your class, how your in french, blahhh blahh blahh but I wrote this not to bore you but to instead get you to understand why I didn't ditch. I have lunch and 4th (last) period with him. So I was excited. I knew our teacher wasn't going to be there, so my thought were me Jason empty class woot. More or less a chance to get to know each other better.
So I get through the day, some classes with kids the others without, and then theirs lunch. Of course the first thing that I notice is that our small lunch group was now almost non-existent. We had people joining us that usually couldn't fit at out spot. Now I'm not saying it wasn't nice because it was but in all truth I was looking for Jason. But he wasn't anywhere to be found. Puzzled I talked to Luke and of course he tells me Jason ditched. Peeved I text him, say something like 'looser way to ditch' and of course this means I'm texting him all lunch, and all the way into last period. It was great until my school day, and usual chatter with my best friend Shyanne was interrupted by the oh so annoying and dreaded fire alarm.
Fire alarms are a big deal and I get the buzz and the hype, but for me its just something that tells me to stand in the cold snowy outside while the rest of the school stands around me and complains. It's dreadful, so today off we go like any other day when we have a drill. But I still could push that little nag in the back of my head away. It kept saying why today? Who plans it during a snowstorm when 1/2 the school isn't here? And as usual that little nag was right. After 45mins of standing in the snow, and getting hit with snowballs that came flying from my ex-boyfriend Charlies way, we were let back in. Now by this point I knew it wasn't a drill, and of course it wasn't on fire; because for god-sake we were going back in. So it had to have been pulled, now I knew this had happened before, in fact I guess I assumed it had been pulled, but knowing you were right is always good. In the school we rush and off to our classes. Back to a class without momentum, potential, and back to a class without Jason.
Then it goes on to I want to switch to your class, how your in french, blahhh blahh blahh but I wrote this not to bore you but to instead get you to understand why I didn't ditch. I have lunch and 4th (last) period with him. So I was excited. I knew our teacher wasn't going to be there, so my thought were me Jason empty class woot. More or less a chance to get to know each other better.
So I get through the day, some classes with kids the others without, and then theirs lunch. Of course the first thing that I notice is that our small lunch group was now almost non-existent. We had people joining us that usually couldn't fit at out spot. Now I'm not saying it wasn't nice because it was but in all truth I was looking for Jason. But he wasn't anywhere to be found. Puzzled I talked to Luke and of course he tells me Jason ditched. Peeved I text him, say something like 'looser way to ditch' and of course this means I'm texting him all lunch, and all the way into last period. It was great until my school day, and usual chatter with my best friend Shyanne was interrupted by the oh so annoying and dreaded fire alarm.
Fire alarms are a big deal and I get the buzz and the hype, but for me its just something that tells me to stand in the cold snowy outside while the rest of the school stands around me and complains. It's dreadful, so today off we go like any other day when we have a drill. But I still could push that little nag in the back of my head away. It kept saying why today? Who plans it during a snowstorm when 1/2 the school isn't here? And as usual that little nag was right. After 45mins of standing in the snow, and getting hit with snowballs that came flying from my ex-boyfriend Charlies way, we were let back in. Now by this point I knew it wasn't a drill, and of course it wasn't on fire; because for god-sake we were going back in. So it had to have been pulled, now I knew this had happened before, in fact I guess I assumed it had been pulled, but knowing you were right is always good. In the school we rush and off to our classes. Back to a class without momentum, potential, and back to a class without Jason.
Two
So that's how this story starts with a guy in bed, and as usual I was in trouble. I was never one of those girls who hated guys, even when I was really young. I was always to sensible for the idea of cooties, and growing up with a father, a brother, and a mother who hates everything girlie added up to a house full of guys. So guys and everything guy-ish never bothered me, in fact I learned to love it in more than one way.
From card games, to play fighting, from mud fights, to first person shooters, to those cute guys who always wanted to play with us, guys became a huge part of me, and my life. But until a few years ago they were just my best friends, except one. I've grown up with many different people, most of whom I try to keep in my life, but of course some always slip away. David was one of those guys that just stayed in my life, I guess it helped that his mother(a single mom) was my parents best friends, and her David(the youngest) and all her other kids were always over. Davids sister loved us, she was a few years older and never stopped try to get us to date. But to this day we never have, I don't know why we've done everything together, and I guess in a way I do love him but now I'm just getting ahead of myself, so lets go back to the year 2001.
I don't remember why we were at his house, we were always there, so maybe it was just to get us out of the house but there we were another sleepover at Davids house. I was 6, innocent but at that time I didn't know it. He had a girlfriend Serena, he was a year older and always seemed to be ahead of the game I don't know how he just always was. It was late and we were all sitting on Davids sisters bed; me, my brother, David, Davids sister, and my brothers best forced family friend Hayley. The topic to that evening was as it would have been in any-ones house at the ages of 4-10 Truth or Dare.
It was the simple things then that made such a big deal, kiss the wall, hold hands with so and so, go and ask your dad for this or that. Tell us who you like ext. It was the chance to make people say things that you really wanted to know but were too afraid to ask them. Or to make people do things that were just the funniest thing in the world at that time. But the fun could only last so long, I was then and still am famous for never turning down a dare, so when I got dare to kiss David, it didn't even strike me. I just leaned over as everyone giggled, and SMACK! right on the cheek! That's a big deal when your 6, so it was oo'ed and ahhh'ed, and was deciced that since that couldn't be topped we would go for a snack.
So there I was sitting on the bed left with a few thoughts, one being; wow that was amazing! Another being David is still standing at the door, what on earth is he doing!? And of course, wow there goes my first kiss. But that's all there was, it was gone and I can't help but wonder what would have happened if it had gone to any other guy.
From card games, to play fighting, from mud fights, to first person shooters, to those cute guys who always wanted to play with us, guys became a huge part of me, and my life. But until a few years ago they were just my best friends, except one. I've grown up with many different people, most of whom I try to keep in my life, but of course some always slip away. David was one of those guys that just stayed in my life, I guess it helped that his mother(a single mom) was my parents best friends, and her David(the youngest) and all her other kids were always over. Davids sister loved us, she was a few years older and never stopped try to get us to date. But to this day we never have, I don't know why we've done everything together, and I guess in a way I do love him but now I'm just getting ahead of myself, so lets go back to the year 2001.
I don't remember why we were at his house, we were always there, so maybe it was just to get us out of the house but there we were another sleepover at Davids house. I was 6, innocent but at that time I didn't know it. He had a girlfriend Serena, he was a year older and always seemed to be ahead of the game I don't know how he just always was. It was late and we were all sitting on Davids sisters bed; me, my brother, David, Davids sister, and my brothers best forced family friend Hayley. The topic to that evening was as it would have been in any-ones house at the ages of 4-10 Truth or Dare.
It was the simple things then that made such a big deal, kiss the wall, hold hands with so and so, go and ask your dad for this or that. Tell us who you like ext. It was the chance to make people say things that you really wanted to know but were too afraid to ask them. Or to make people do things that were just the funniest thing in the world at that time. But the fun could only last so long, I was then and still am famous for never turning down a dare, so when I got dare to kiss David, it didn't even strike me. I just leaned over as everyone giggled, and SMACK! right on the cheek! That's a big deal when your 6, so it was oo'ed and ahhh'ed, and was deciced that since that couldn't be topped we would go for a snack.
So there I was sitting on the bed left with a few thoughts, one being; wow that was amazing! Another being David is still standing at the door, what on earth is he doing!? And of course, wow there goes my first kiss. But that's all there was, it was gone and I can't help but wonder what would have happened if it had gone to any other guy.
Thursday, 24 February 2011
One
I'm a terrible typist, speller, and I have terrible grammar I have always been this way, I don't know why. I'm not dumb... in fact I'm a straight 'A' student. I have a decent amount of friends, and I hang around a pretty okay group of kids my girlfriends are all pretty innocent, why we get along I have no idea... But I mean were 16 so we can get pretty hammered but over all were an okay bunch.
My guy friends are a whole other story. Sure I try to hangout with the good guys. You know I don't hang around the guys who sell, I'm not saying I dont know them, and I'm definitely not saying that I don't not talk to them, and I'm not saying I haven't tried. I mean I've been baked out of my mind, but the guys I try to hangout with are a pretty okay bunch of guys. Or at least I like to think so.
But I guess you never really know, I mean I've thought that I've known tons of people; but then again I'm almost always wrong. I've tried so many times to keep a Journal, to class people, but I just can't stick with it. In fact I have trouble sticking with everything. God you name it I've tried it and nothing that I've ever tried have I stuck to. Dance, Music, Art, Drama, Swimming, Writing, Jobs, Soccer, Base-ball, Volly-ball, and guys. But that's where the trouble starts. I mean that's where it always starts with a guy in bed.
My guy friends are a whole other story. Sure I try to hangout with the good guys. You know I don't hang around the guys who sell, I'm not saying I dont know them, and I'm definitely not saying that I don't not talk to them, and I'm not saying I haven't tried. I mean I've been baked out of my mind, but the guys I try to hangout with are a pretty okay bunch of guys. Or at least I like to think so.
But I guess you never really know, I mean I've thought that I've known tons of people; but then again I'm almost always wrong. I've tried so many times to keep a Journal, to class people, but I just can't stick with it. In fact I have trouble sticking with everything. God you name it I've tried it and nothing that I've ever tried have I stuck to. Dance, Music, Art, Drama, Swimming, Writing, Jobs, Soccer, Base-ball, Volly-ball, and guys. But that's where the trouble starts. I mean that's where it always starts with a guy in bed.
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